Sunday, July 15, 2007

Tribute to Big 12 Fanbases, Part XI: Texas A&M

"Bud Light presents, Real Men of Genius (Real Men of Genius!)
Today we salute you, Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy (Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy!)
Men from lesser states may know their state's capital,
But you, you know your state's bird, tree and even reptile (Love that horny toad!)
You display your pride with your Lone Star Tattoo, Native Texan bumper sticker, and contempt for any state that doesn't start with 'Tex' and end with '-as' (That spells Texas!)
Sure there are 49 other states in the Union,
But they're smaller, wussier, and the people talk funny (Yankee wussies!)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light oh lover of the Lone Star State,
Because all that flag-waving must have made you mighty thirsty (Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy!)"

We're starting to get to the end of our journey through the goofier side of the Big 12. For a little refresher on what this is all about, hit this link. Basically, I heard on the news that a couple in Oklahoma, OU fans, judging by their shirts, had won a Wal-Mart. Of course that inspired in me the typical "what a bunch of rednecks" response, but then I realized that's a trite reaction to news that could have easily happened in any other Big 12 state. So don't think I'm doing this out of spite for your team, I included my own team. Think of it as a handy reminder of your rival's downfalls next time they need to be reminded.

So anyway, on to College Station. I had a huge misperception of A&M before I came to Texas. All I saw was the pageantry of games at Kyle Field (which, if you read this regularly, you know I love the pageantry of college football). I thought the Corps of Cadets were a revered group at A&M.

Judging by Aggie fans I've met since moving here, I could not have been more wrong. Some of them told me they wouldn't piss on the quad if it was on fire.

Now don't get me wrong. It's great that A&M contributes to the United States Armed Services. But some of the Corps, uh, activities hardly seem to be related to that end.

There's also a fine line between celebrating your military heritage and being an out-of-control mob of angry Texans. At least a few times in history, members of the Corps have gotten into fights with fans of other teams who have trespassed on the sacred ground that is the Kyle Field grass.

So let's recap. Because some total idiots from another school go out on your field, you run out there, get out your sabers, and cause mass chaos. I realize you are in a military-type group and Kyle Field is your 'home base,' but you're not Marines and this ain't Fallujah. Surely your security can take care of a few drunken Cornhuskers.

Like I said, I like the pageantry of college football, so traditions are high on my list. But as I found out once I moved to Texas, if they do it once at A&M, it's a mistake. If they do it twice, it's a tradition.


Unfortunately for Aggies, sometimes their players take their traditions just a little too seriously, like this one I witnessed in person last fall.

--Home of the 12th Man--

Now unlike some people...

...I actually believe A&M is a pretty good institution, academically (I should have noted yesterday that Baylor is, as well). But between its agricultural and military training, apparently there isn't much instruction on meteorology, or basic shop class.

So Aggies, while you may often end up at the butt of jokes made by those evil UT and Baylor fans... always have a loving home in Houston!

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