Tribute to Big 12 Fanbases, Part XII: Texas

"Bud Light presents, Real Men of Genius (Real Men of Genius!)
Today we salute you, Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy (Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy!)
Men from lesser states may know their state's capital,
But you, you know your state's bird, tree and even reptile (Love that horny toad!)
You display your pride with your Lone Star Tattoo, Native Texan bumper sticker, and contempt for any state that doesn't start with 'Tex' and end with '-as' (That spells Texas!)
Sure there are 49 other states in the Union,
But they're smaller, wussier, and the people talk funny (Yankee wussies!)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light oh lover of the Lone Star State,
Because all that flag-waving must have made you mighty thirsty (Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy!)"

Tonight, we wrap up our tour of Big 12 fanbases and their more out-of-control behavior in Austin. If you don't know the basis for this harebrained idea, hit this post first so you don't think that I really hate every Big 12 school.

Anyway, on to UT. This was probably a bad school to do last, because there isn't a lot of media documentation of fans being arrogant.

Fortunately, there is my own personal documentation of other forms of arrogance. In 2002, I witnessed UT kicker Dusty Mangum practice field goals at halftime in Manhattan...over K-State's marching band. Then the bastard made the winning field goal later that night. So, yeah, damn.

One of the more entertaining moments of my undergraduate education occurred during my cultural anthropology class. Basically, my professor told us the origins of the hook 'em horns handsign.



So from now on, every time I see a Longhorn fan throw up the horns, I don't throw 'em up upside down, OU style. I stand there and say, "That sucks that your wife is cheating on you and you don't have the balls to do anything about it. What can I do to help?"

You should also be proud, UT. Despite the fact that you declined him for your law school, approximately 31 percent of the country supports UT. That's an incredible percentage.



Exciting as Austin can be...



...there has to be some down time, with little to do. Apparently the lull between the Lonestar Showdown (I guess that's what ABC calls it) and the 'horns bowl game last year proved to be one of those times. Further, the 'horns apparently aren't very good at dealing with losses, if this is what they do when they lose.



That great law school, and they sue over...t-shirts?

Anyway, Austin is a rather open-minded, accepting town, which means it's home to a lot of, uhh, alternative lifestyles. And I don't mean homosexuality, I just mean people who do their best to...







Apparently these people also double as trumpetists.




--All hat, no cattle.--

So that's it, friends. We have reached the end of our journey of shame through the Big 12. I suppose now I'll have to get back to posting actual content. In the next few weeks I'll try to do some basic outlines of K-State's opponents this year, as well as make some more crazy off-season lists. If there's anything you want listed, let me know.